First things first.  Classic.

The sad part is he meant to say exactly what he said.

Ferret it out.

Either he would be hit by a train, hit by a bus, or hit by a bus while on the train tracks. Or perhaps the bus is a rail bus, a newly-created thing intended to kill Matt.

You gave me my job description…

After drinking two double IPAs, I was dumb.

We shouldn’t have to pay for it!

Important in a capacity relevant to nerds. One might say nerdily relevant.

Something open to more than one interpretation found everywhere.